My eyes are open and I am all at once awake. For a moment I want to lie my head back on the pillow, but I am needed elsewhere. I am needed now. So I go. Wrapping my shawl around my shoulders on my way. In the dark I know this off by heart. I know where he is, where his little body lies in blindness waiting for me, with arms reaching out. He knows I am coming. I can hear the change in his cries when he hears my footsteps, when he hears my whispers. My darling, I am here. I bring you to the warmth of my skin. Close and safe, my beautiful boy. As if in urgency feeding and calm. You are there. And I am here.