Sometimes I wish I had just wanted to be a nurse or a teacher or something stable and permanent and useful.
Being a photographer is hard work. And that's not to say I am opposed to hard work, quite the contrary. But I am a now person. I want things to happen now. I want a hundred people to make a booking with me now. I want a thriving photography business now. I want a kitten now.
Of course I have to put in a lot of time and energy to achieve that. And with two small people to look after, it leaves me feeling a little exhausted and downhearted. And sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. If I am worth it.
But I just have this innate creative passion inside me. I am a dreamer. A romantic. An idealist. I have a vision in my head of the photographer I want to be. And because I'm a perfectionist, I start doubting it all because it's taking me so bloody long to get there!
So I must remember that I have made leaps and bounds of progress in the last couple of years. Aside from being a full time mum, I've created a new Women Wild and Free project (a few of which I have shared below), which will soon be featured in a family mag. I've had some lovely family photo shoots, and I've improved massively with my technique and with my artistic vision.
I have really enjoyed this journey, and found a huge sense of achievement along the way. And really, it's all about that. I mean, yes, it would be lovely to be earning a decent wage too! But... perhaps good things really do come to those who wait.