Real life and a witches hat

This is my favourite type of photography. Natural, honest and candid. Where I just hang out with someone (my daughter, in this instance), and I take photos of the person or people, in their own environment. I don't take things out of the frame, I leave everything as it is. It is not contrived, instead it is completely imperfect, as it should be. 

Photos without a story are just that. They're photos, art, but there's no context. A model posing for the camera is positioned, and although the model has her or his own story, you don't know it. Sometimes, you can see it through their eyes, or feel it through the portrayal of the portrait. But often, it is nothing more than just a photo. And it serves its purpose. 

But if I am photographing in a home, why should I remove things from the frame? Why should I photoshop the radiator, or the toys in the background? Why should I lighten someone's eyes, or smooth their skin? Just as a model may be made to look thinner in a magazine. Or made to have whiter teeth, or larger breasts. 

Because that is not real life. And I want real life. I see it. And I love to photograph it the way it is. It shouldn't be hidden. It should be embraced. It should be imperfect. Because that is life. And it is beautiful. (Just like my daughter). 

 

 

 

Doing it my way.

I've been pondering lately... what do I really want to do? Why am I still pursuing my music? Why am I a photographer? Who am I doing it for?

Because it's bloody hard work. Both music and photography consume plenty of my energy and time, and I don't have an awful lot of that to spare, in between being a mum and a wife, (and a cat and hedgehog and bird feeder). And all of those things I want to do really well. 

And then the answer floated into my mind like a falling leaf from a tree. I am doing this for me. And I don't have to pretend otherwise. And I don't have to perform to expectations. I don't have to do it the way other people do it. I just have to do it my way. 

I say all of this like I live by these words. But there are days when I really don't. And my confidence gets sapped. And I am fragile and lost. On those days I ask myself why am I doing this? All over again. 

Art is a tough career. Whether you paint, make music, take photos, dance... you have to put your heart into it, or else it isn't genuine. And a big part of me is that I am incredibly genuine. And I want that to show in the stuff that I do. But sometimes it's hard to put it out there when so much of you has been invested. And not everyone is going to understand it the way you do. And not everyone is going to love it, either. 

Perhaps the answer, that I'm doing this for me, will help me to get go forwards, and help me to find and hold onto that wavering self belief, so I can carry on doing it my way.  

 

 

 

Heart matters.

Sometimes it's not about being what other people want you to be, but following your heart and your bones and being who you want to be. 

I was driving along today, and I was saying to myself, don't pretend to be this person, this photographer who acts the way I think photographers should act. Bouncy, extrovert, confident... because that's just a load of rubbish. That's not who I am. And how am I supposed to take photographs that have heart. That have meaning. That have life? How am I going to do that if I am not being me? 

I'm not the most confident or loud person. I like to quietly think and ponder. I like space and privacy. I like simplicity at a slow pace.  I'm a dork. I'm goofy. I am the most un-witty person in the world. And I am the best at spoonerisms. I'm passionate and genuine and I cannot lie. I love like nothing else. Love is my best. 

So from now on. I'm being me. I am being true to myself and my creative heart. And I hope that will show in my photographs. I'm going to photograph what I love the most. What feels right. And I'm going to push myself. And I am going to try really, really hard to believe in myself. 

Forget about perfection. I'm striving for originality. Feeling. Heart. Creating what inspires me.