I love getting outside into our little paradise garden. OK, so it hasn't got a permanent sunshine hanging over it, nor does it have an infinity pool, or a luxurious outdoor lounge area. But, it does back straight onto woodland, and we adore our little woodland friends - the Blue and Great Tits and Robins are my favourite. And Wilfie loves being amongst it all. Getting muddy, unearthing worms, and catching newts and frogs from the pond. It's our little city secret, because it doesn't feel like it's only ten minutes from the centre. We mostly just hear bird song... Lucky us.
A cat who jumps into the fireplace on a whim every day just to check if anything has changed. A boy who investigates the cat at every opportunity, as well as the fireplace. but perhaps not together like this.
My eyes are open and I am all at once awake. For a moment I want to lie my head back on the pillow, but I am needed elsewhere. I am needed now. So I go. Wrapping my shawl around my shoulders on my way. In the dark I know this off by heart. I know where he is, where his little body lies in blindness waiting for me, with arms reaching out. He knows I am coming. I can hear the change in his cries when he hears my footsteps, when he hears my whispers. My darling, I am here. I bring you to the warmth of my skin. Close and safe, my beautiful boy. As if in urgency feeding and calm. You are there. And I am here.